Current mood: Happy :)
I know some of you are tired of reading my rants over the sleepless nights of painstakingly reading, reviewing and editing the research papers of my students. The good news is that I am able to recover my sleeping hours this week. From less than 4 hours, I now enjoy 5 to 7 hours of sleep. Still not healthy enough, but I am at least recovering.
Aside from ranting over my teaching works, some of you may felt that I had thoughts of quitting this profession. I found myself in this situation because an incident somehow demanded me to defend my character and principles. I was tested to the extent that I almost made a life changing decision. Leaving teaching is like losing a part of myself. For those who know me well, you know that becoming an educator is one of my dreams. When I was given the chance to teach, I felt more than honored and blessed because I was given the chance to fulfill my own dream. Destiny perhaps wanted me to remain in this profession. I also believe that when a dream thrives in your blood then no hindrances could ever challenge it. So here I am, still surviving and living with my dream job.
Just when I found some reasons to quit teaching, I equally found another reasons to remain. Before my evening class, a few colleagues gave me some positive words. A few told me that the works of my students possessed the organization, substance and quality of a real paper. Whew! That was all music to my weary soul. Though with all due respect and humility, I have to say that I don't claim full credit to the works of my students. They have their advisers and their own creativity to accomplish everything. But still, I know that in one way or another, I am part of that little success.
I never demanded for awards, citations, and even pieces of attention. I love and will continuously love my silence. I never wanted everyone's praises, both real and fake. I am contented in knowing that I accomplish my job, accurately and of course, on time. The most that I wanted was for people to respect and know me as a person who always gets the job done. But I will not deny the fact that when people acknowledge my humble accomplishments, my entire outlook changes. That rare smile of happiness leaves a trace on my face and marks a significant fulfillment in my heart.
Some of you may see me as a very shallow person. Yes I am. My source of happiness is sometimes so plain and shallow. A pat from the back from my boss, real and sincere words of gratitude from my students and in this case, some positive feedback from my hard work, these are enough reasons to make me believe that I should remain patient, persevering and dedicated in fulfilling the life I wanted.