Thursday, April 5, 2012
Finding strength in my weakness
I wasn't doing fine over the past days. I was having some occasional depression or maybe sadness attacks lately. The usual self-treatment I impose are shopping and pampering. I buy a new book, treat myself for a hair spa, or purchase anything that can make me happy. But lately, I felt that my depression attacks can't be healed by any of my regular regimen.
Whenever my strength is tested, I usually avoid being alone. I once tried to handle things on my own and I ended up worst. I felt that I will soon lose the last strand of my sanity. When I finally admitted that my self-proclaimed bravery wasn't enough, that's when I sought help from my trusted girlfriends. For those who know me well, you are more or less familiar that I don't have that plenty of friends.
Over the past weeks, my few girlfriends were responsible for uplifting me. Last Friday, I had dinner with Lani, my MBA classmate turned friend. When I was completing my MBA, I gained a family of friends. We had our own memorable escapades out of town. I later realized that not all of them are "for keeps." After our academic years, most of them were gone and only Lani remained. Thank God I had Lani that time. If I didn't meet Lani, I might went on a shopping splurge again and went home with my usual cry cry crayola moments.
When I became an educator, I tried my best to gain the trusted and respected image from my students. I want them to remember me as the teacher who imparts learning, not using the classic terrorizing approach. I wanted them to see me as a friend that still gains the respect of a teacher.
Being friends with my students was never part of my plans. Some unexpected circumstance though made me become friends with one of my former students. Last Monday, I had dinner with Dina, one of my honest and hardworking students. We found ourselves sharing work life sentiments over a great dinner. Though time wasn't enough for us, I was happy because I know I am blessed with another friend.
Before the Holy Week break, another girlfriend who resides abroad emailed to tell me that she is in town. Wow! God has been giving me a treat. He knows how to make me happy. Lea and I meet up and we made a lot of catching up stories. We recalled some untold college stories, which made us laugh of our shallow and silly mistakes.
In the end, I realized that despite all the problems and issues I have with my life, I AM STILL BLESSED. Yes I have counted friends, but such is not a weakness. They are in fact a source of my strength.