I'm idle and useless. While other people are stressed out because of excessive workload, I'm experiencing the opposite. God and dear friends, forgive me if I'm feeling stressed out too. Stressed out for doing nothing. I never thought this was possible to exist. It's like having the genes of Kate Middleton or Marian Rivera yet at the end of the day, I feel like the ugliest person alive.
I'm sure other people are dying to be in my shoes. You go to work without a pending workload. Almost good as saying, being paid for doing nothing. Sounds too heavenly, but God knows how I truly feel.
I'm trying to find reasons behind my idleness. Is my Big Boss giving me a break? I don't think so. He just can't probably cannot identify a task for me. All the more this makes me feel sad and frustrated. If there is nothing for me, it sounds like my presence is no longer needed. On the contrary, the Big Boss is too occupied. He has his own set of task. I respect that there might be confidentiality issues or higher managers designated him to do things on his own. But still, this environment is making me feel sad and guilty at the same time.
Did I just finish my tasks ahead of time? Probably yes. My week long break last May gave me the opportunity to work at home. I love that I was able to work in my most comfortable time and pace. I was able to complete a month long report in a week. My other pending projects were also completed before June started. Last week, I had the courage to speak to my superior. I told him I have nothing left in my work plan. It took him some time to assign another task. I started the new work last Thursday and finished everything today before lunch time. I'm another useless being again. As of typing this, my Boss is reviewing my output. There are some revisions that needs to be implemented. At the end of the day though, I knew that tomorrow will be another idle and useless day.
In other news, I've been getting some weird messages from my Facebook account lately. High School batch mates and former students were inviting me to join their investment opportunities. Remember this post? I have been invited to join those multi-level or uni-level marketing companies. You give a certain amount of money, leave it for a while and in less than a year, it yields unbelievable amount of earnings. I've seen testimonials from my most reliable friends, relatives to estranged classmates and batch mates. If we are talking about restaurants and shopping experiences, I will surely give in. But these investment companies never made any appeal to me. What comes easy, won't last long. What is too good to be true is most likely not true. Added to this, I feel a little awkward and uncomfortable when a batch mate or former classmate whom I haven't seen or spoken for ages will send me messages out of nowhere. One even said, huy diane! I wanted to blurt out, close tayo? (Are we really that close?) To think that she was one of the mean-ugly (sorry) girls who called me names back in High School. Apologies, but my memory is too sharp for people who were both good and bad to me. The first classmate who made me cry. The inconsiderate classmate who drank more than half of the water in my Coleman without my consent, leaving me so thirsty after our PE class. (Clue: She's a famous blogger now. Hahahahaha) The first classmate who consoled me because I was profusely crying. The first classmate who gave me a birthday gift. I remember everyone in their full names.
Oh well, this post is getting longer. Pardon my rants. Blame my idleness.