This day will always remain special for me. Exactly a year ago, I made my first ever international presentation and my first trip abroad too.

While I always dream to see the world, setting aside money for traveling is never a priority. I have bills to pay and a starving savings account to revive. There are opportunities to travel for free but I know that everything was way beyond my reach. Everything changed when the prestigious university in Taiwan gave me a chance. They accepted my paper for presentation and everything remained as memories that never fail to make me smile up to this date. 

My few close friends have personally witnessed my struggle to fulfill this opportunity. When my paper was accepted for presentation, the next events tested me to the fullest. I cried for the elusive funding opportunities and the financial support. I prayed for freelance jobs and it came just in time when I was already willing to give up. At this point, I still consider my trip to Taiwan as the highlight of my years of working. Promotion and career advancement are things I can't achieve in my current state at the workplace. Despite the accomplishment, believe me, I'm still the same rank and file employee. Some of my colleagues don't even know my achievement and I'm happy to keep things that way.

Whenever I feel sad and useless, one of the things I usually do is to browse my Taiwan photo album in my Facebook account. Each photo uploaded reminded me of the bitter sweet and silent success. As I'm typing this post, I admit that part of me is sad because nothing seemed to happened after my accomplishment. It's like I'm stuck up in the same old and boring life again. No I don't demand for attention and everyone's compliment. What rather makes me sad is the fact that I tend to become static and idle again. I allowed my lazy self to become complacent. I never desired and worked to achieve more. I became attached to the fairy tale that should have already ended in the first place.

I guess this is just one of those days when my system are releasing those melancholy hormones. Could it be because I'm turning a year older in  a few days? Or I'm just bored and I tend to notice everything? Whatever causes this immature sadness, I will not be able to know. Perhaps, the best I can do is to finally dust off my rubber shoes for jogging to generate that much needed endorphins.