I’ve been meaning to write a post since mid-April. But life happened or should I say, there is more in life that happened. At this point, I can finally say it. April outdid March in terms of unexpected events and first time experiences. 

The month began with an unplanned trip to Tagaytay and Caleruega. Despite the increasing urbanization and worsening traffic in Tagaytay, the place still offers a sense of peace and comfort I can’t find in Manila. The cool weather, scenic views, great food and company were exactly the kind of breather I needed.

The short break was disrupted with a legal ordeal from my paternal family. An older cousin requested that I take the lead in addressing this concern. Working with different government agencies (police and regional trial courts) is something I never wanted to experience again. I skipped work on several days. I coordinated with a private legal team. I went from one government agency to another. In as much as I wanted to detail this experience, all I can say is that some government agencies need to upgrade their processes and documentary requirements. I encountered civil servants, who don't take their responsibilities seriously. I'll never forget the scene of female employees who wore bedroom slippers in their workstations,  refuse to have an urgency to accommodate clients and don't seem to understand the processes of their own office. In the end, I'm thankful that my share in the responsibility is already over. 

In the midst of everything, something happened at work. Part of me saw it coming—but reality still hits differently. I felt caught between giving my best for nothing or doing nothing at all, knowing I’d never be seen good anyway. 

The awaited Holy Week break also happened in April. I initially conditioned myself to use the time to accomplish some office works. But the need to rest overpowered. In the middle of the week, we had a quick trip to Subic. As always, the scenery in SCTEX never fails. Seeing SCTEX during sunset will always be one of my favorite things to do.  Dining at restaurants along the gasoline stations also feels like another kind of breather for me. It's the same food in Manila, but stories and comfort food away from daily life with N are things I am always grateful for. 

Before April ended, another visit to Tagaytay happened. An AirBnB overlooking Taal Lake, Netflix, Swedish massage before sleep, cooking breakfast food for dinner and waking up with the colder weather made me feel that there will always be kinder and gentler days. 

Today, before heading home, I felt a wave of sadness and exhaustion. I stopped by Sta. Cruz Church, uttered a prayer, as always, wrote my petitions. Life is hard. Some days, it feels even harder. Despite everything, I hold on to the belief that life  will eventually get better.