Life went on. So much has happened after June ended. I was overwhelmed in many ways. I have a new designation at work. We completed my father's post operation check ups. I have to secure several documents from government offices. In the middle of everything, I received an opportunity to visit another province in the South. 



Through the recommendation of former superiors, I became one of the auditors in this organization that reviews practices of schools, college and universities in the Philippines. I receive assignments once or twice a year. I consider every assignment as a blessing since it gives me an opportunity to work, learn and travel at the same time. I didn't notice that I already completed eight assignments. Eight cycles, eight schools, eight teams, every opportunity contributes to my archives of the happiest and fulfilling memories. I'm praying that I'll still be trusted with the same opportunity on the succeeding years. 






Breathe. Respite. Life will be better. 

It was my mother's 4th death anniversary. Unlike the previous year, I didn't take a leave. There was no food and family gathering. I needed to work because I no longer have sufficient leave credits. I also need to catch up with class discussions. 

Days before her death anniversary, my phone brought back photos and memories of her time in the hospital. It’s been years, but everything stayed with me. I can still remember each painful day. The fear remains. Hospitals still unsettle me. My brother’s past hospitalizations also added layers to that fear. Each day, I pray for my family’s health, safety, and happiness. I constantly worry  for my dad, for my brother, and for our heaven sent caregiver, Ate Rita.

When my mind and emotions overwork, I overthink, overanalyze, and eventually left with painful thoughts and quiet tears.

This morning, I went to my mother’s resting place. I asked for her help. I’m afraid, worried and restless. 

Years ago, weeks after my mother's passing, I remember spending a quiet Sunday at home with my Dad and brother. Sundays has always been the three of us at home.  My brother looked so calm and healthy.  It remained as one of my happiest times with them. We managed to care for my brother without anyone’s help. The house is clean, the laundry is done, we were together watching the evening news and we had good food. I slept with a grateful heart that night. My brother and dad were healthy. We had enough to sustain us. That was more than enough. I wish the days would stay that way.

Those quiet and stable days do not come easy. I need to work and stand up for my family. It's price is a salary I needed to work hard for. Unfortunately, my new designation at work cannot provide that life. Over the past months, I took a chance to seek for additional work. I guess life remained generous and understanding with me. My prayers were heard, I was given a part time working stint in Manila. 


I report to another workplace once or twice a week. For some reason, I feel at peace in this place. Unlike in my main workplace, no one knows me here. I have the time, pace and independence to accomplish my responsibilities. I also discovered a quiet space where I can pause and write my prayers. 


My place of peace 


I never thought to secure an opportunity to work here.

After each short work stint, I take a few quiet minutes to pause, release my worries and whisper my wishes. And with every prayer, I hope life will get better.