Monday, March 11, 2019

Beautiful Sunday # 354 - That familiar sadness


The past weekends, as always, don't feel enough. Saturdays are devoted for getting that much needed sleep. Sundays are for freelance works or if not, some take home tasks from teaching. As much as I'd like to say that time is not enough, I was reminded by the fact that all of us have the same 24 hours. This brings me, maybe I'm either loaded with work or too poor on time management. I'm inclined to believe in the latter. I sleep the entire day. I spent so much time in my mobile phone. I lie in bed either thinking of nothing or worrying about everything. That's how life has been over the past weekends. It feels as if everything has been programmed. Somehow, I feel useless and worthless.


I'm typing this post after a long day. Everything started when I felt a bad case of lower back pains last Sunday. Standing up after prolonged sitting takes some time. It was hard for me to straighten my back. Both pain and numbness also persisted after standing for several minutes. I was already preparing to visit a Physical Therapist. What saved the day was the electric hot compress bag I got from SM. It was a life saver. Pain gradually went away after my skin endured the intense heat of the compress. Hopefully, no more back pains on the succeeding days. 

This post was supposedly devoted for last week's events. But everything feels like a blur? So much has happened, but details are not clear anymore. All I can remember, someone has been agitating me. I have been wanting to avoid that person, but our encounters will never end until the end of the month. -_- Please, grant me the patience and tolerance. :)

And just before this day ended, I felt that familiar sting of sadness. It felt like 2015 again. It was the same kind of emptiness and pathetic state. Painful words, worthlessness and hopelessness thrive on me again. I've been wanting to meet my friends T and I. They are the two persons who patiently listened to my sentiments. They've witnessed my sadness. They have been my best listeners. I miss them.... 

This post emerged as a rant. :( Apologies, but this is how I feel the past days. Just to end this post on a positive note, here are two things that never fail to save the day ;)


What to do with left over kimchi and soybean paste - I prevented myself to have another round of samgyeopsal last weekend. Instead, I used the remaining side dish and sauce to create my own kimchi rice. :)


Weekend breakfast scene - And here's to hopefully, a better week! So much about the sadness and frustrations, I hope to find other reasons to feel rather grateful this week. 

3 comments:

  1. I think it's fine to feel so down sometimes. Lalo na sa edad natin ngayon ^_^ Hang on lang. Babalik din uli ang mga happy and light-hearted days :-)

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  2. Aww dont feel useless and worthless, Diane. Perhaps it's your body telling you to take a step back, inhale and exhale slowly and recharge :) I hope you no longer have back pains and feeling better! Try looking for Tiger Balm cream version in Lavender scent. It has been saving me from back and shoulder pains lately :)

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  3. Parang ang sarap ng the daily butter na yan ah! Ano ba magandang brand ng kimchi sa supermarket? Mahilig din kasi ako sa kimchi rice. At yung electric hot compress, may nabili kami nyan sa Surplus, pwede pala sa back pains, sabihan ko nga ang sister ko, matagal na dumadaing ng back pain kasi lagi nakaupo sa opis, hehe. :)

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