Expensive - This has to be the best word to describe last week. Everything started when the train line servicing the eastern part of the Metro broke down. I thought the suspension of the train's operations will only last overnight. On the succeeding days, the suspension was extended until weekend. An announcement was later issued that partial operations will push through. Quite a hassle, but better than not having any train at all. As of typing this, another advisory was made. Even partial operations are not possible. My life on the next months will change. I have to strategize my commute to work. I have other concerns at home, work and life in general. I can't believe that even my travel to work needs to be taken seriously. 

When all these misfortune happened, I relied on Grab Share to bring me to work. It's fast, convenient but costly. A ride to work via Grab Share costed me around Php 300 at 5:00 am. I can't imagine how much it would cost during rush hour. This was way above my daily budget. I can't rely on Grab Share everyday. My salary will be depleted in less than a week. Meanwhile, a train ride from Santolan to Manila only costs around Php 26. I spend around Php 100 for transport costs everyday. Though I appreciate Grab Share, this is obviously not an alternative. In times like this, I wish that work from home is allowed. This can at least lessen the volume of passengers. There are options for the working force relying on the train. However, the burden is on the students. More than half of the train's passengers are students from varied universities in Manila. I feel worried for these kids. They have to endure longer hours of travel, arriving home exhausted and still needs to study. 

Setting aside this life changing concern, last week had its own share of other surprises. An encounter with some people reminded me of how my life changed last summer. It brought me again to the realization that when everything gets messed up, people have the innate tendency to be selfish. They will choose themselves at all costs. This reaction seems understandable. What I can never understand is how these people continuously emphasised themselves as victims. When in reality, there are silent casualties of their decisions or I should say, selfishness. Someone claimed, he decided to step back to prevent further damage. In my mind, no you didn't. You stepped back to protect yourself, escape and passed all the burdens to an innocent individual.

This recurring thought only proves that all the wounds I gained from this betrayal are still hurting. Pain demands to be felt, this quote from John Green's The Fault in our Stars perfectly described everything. In some days, I daydream that I would laugh about this a few years from now. I can't wait for it. But reality never fails to bring me back to my agonies.

On the lighter side, I had the need to get out from home on weekends. I had work that required me to be within Makati area. I took advantage of the time to visit Glorietta. The layout of that mall still confuses me at this age. :p I also dropped by Landmark, which ended as a bad decision. I had another incident of unnecessary shopping. :p My first excuse was the need to have a green shirt for an event this week. A few hours later, I got a pair of ballet flats. Before I finally left Glorietta, I checked out the tiny boutique of Mosaic clothing. Another bad decision, I went home with another purchase. 

Other shops I visited, which I ended not buying anything, included Zara and Rustan's. There's always something between me and Zara. ;) I always find something I like on the rare times I visit. The blouse I liked was expensive so I decided to leave. My control hormones worked. :p I entered Rustan's because I got lost navigating Glorietta. My route led me to the bag section and was surprised with displays of my dream bag, the Fendi Peekaboo!!!! Because there were no sales assistants, I took the chance to check the price tag. I had a mild heart attack, the mini version costs Php 236,000!!!! I can't anymore imagine the price for the small to medium versions. The mini bag can already afford a second hand sedan, two top of the line death plans from St. Peter (sorry, morbid hahaha), a good downpayment for a condo unit, a modest trip to US / Canada / Europe, or an entry level insurance plan. I know, it's way too much for a bag. But my mind has been telling me, with hard work and perseverance, I will own it one day. :) When that time comes, I'm nearing to financial stability. All my debts are paid. My investments in Pag-ibig Fund are fully paid. I have my own real estate. I have my own memorial plan (sorry morbid again hahaha). More importantly, I have a better and stable job. If it is not too much ask, maybe I have another career in photography, co-authored a coffee table book or I have a space in the field of drawing, design or photography. 

Wishing everyone a great week ahead! May we all be reminded of this quote :)