What they say about January 2023, the first month felt so long while February went so fast. It's almost halfway February. I share the same thoughts because of work (as always) and all those that happened in between. 

Prior to January, I remember surprisingly losing weight. I was expecting to get heavier from the holiday break. But stress, worries and sadness happened during my supposedly favorite season of the year. While most of my colleagues were already savoring the December break, I have to extend because of a project I've been praying to be completed. Hopefully, we will be done by next month. While all these are happening, I was bothered with my brother's condition. His edema never seem to subside. We went to several doctors, it was stressful. Added to this, I miss my mother. It was the saddest Christmas and New Year I had. I battled seeing pictures of the happiest families in my Facebook newsfeed. Setting aside the sadness, I'm grateful to my Dad's presence. I wouldn't have survived half of my struggles without him. 

It felt like I was the silent holiday grinch. I was looking forward to returning for work only because I thought it was the way to end my sadness. In between work, I had a great time with some elder workplace friends. We had a few drinks and I'd like to believe that was the last time I laughed so hard. Before we parted ways one of my friends even said, matutulog tayong lahat ng nakangiti. I felt that and was thankful for the rare times. 

I also got sick last January and tested myself several times for COVID. It all ended negative, it was a relief and for a while, it made me cry. While I'm battling health issues, I became a victim of "grown up bullying." What further frustrated me was those who chose to turn blind eye to the situation.  Allowing the bullies to take over, also makes you a bully. There are other heart breaking events that tested my composure. But life goes beyond them. There would always be better days ahead.