Friday the 13th - In as much as I want to diminish the thought that this spells bad omen, the experience last Friday was one for the books. Less than an hour before everyone leaves the workplace, Manila experienced an intensity 3 earthquake. While everyone was rushing to leave, I stayed for a few minutes to sort my things, back up files and send emails. I was about to leave when I felt my table moving. Another shake, another threat. At some point, I thought I was dizzy because I have been deprived of sleep. But I heard announcements asking everyone to vacate the building. The sudden crowd of commuters was not a surprise. Added to this, I was anticipating the suspension of the train's operations. I also wanted to reach home early, but I have due dates to beat. So off I went to the mall not to shop, but to fulfill some grown up's responsibilities. It was a good decision because the train's operations resumed after having dinner. 

Emotions - I've been reading this everywhere, the younger generations are notorious for their emotions. They use emotions on everything. I will not be in denial, I'm one of those always overpowered by emotions. As proof, this almost a decade old blog is 98% emotions. The remaining percentage covers the rare times I travel, review books and see a new place. 

This year, my emotions were intensified because of something that happened last summer. In as much as I considered myself sensitive and observant, I never felt any hint of an upcoming change. The dominant emotion on me was betrayal. It gave me another experience to learn that at the end of the day, people will eventually choose to be selfish. 

Apologies have been said, but part of me still carries the pain of being betrayed. The people, who caused me pain, moved on to better lives. A new working environment, better opportunities, a peaceful life. Everything, at my expense. Everyday, I battle the pain of accepting that once in my life, some people I trusted and respected ruined the quiet and peaceful life I had. 

Before the week ended, I had plans of taking my mother out for a movie or dinner. But sleep and so much procrastination overpowered me. I actually regret it now. I know I can squeeze it a few hours in the mall, even if I have some freelance works to complete. The ending, the freelance work remains unaccomplished. I hope I can make it up next week, for my mother and more importantly, for myself.

In the middle of the week, I thought I was feeling great. After accomplishing something, I went on with my plans of visiting the Manila International Book Fair. I didn't get the titles I wanted. I went home with these books instead. A Book That Takes Its Time is produced by arts and crafts magazine, Flow. It was Marieken, my Dutch friend, who introduced me to Flow Magazine. The publication is not available in the Philippines, but I was glad to see this series of books from Flow. 

A page from the book and postcards from Marieken and Terra 

I'm typing this post on the dawn of Monday. I still have work to do. I have deadlines to beat. At the same time, I'm struggling with the personal battle that seemed to intensify this weekend. 

I'm trying to find some sense and meaning from this experience. I guess it will not happened anytime today or within the next few months. As always, I'll allow time to help me figure out and heal from this struggle.