Life went on. So much has happened after June ended. I was overwhelmed in many ways. I have a new designation at work. I accompanied my father in all of his post operation check ups, which required an entire day of waiting. In the middle of everything, I received an opportunity to visit another province in the South. 



Through the recommendation of former superiors, I became one of the  auditors in this organization that reviews practices of schools, college and universities in the Philippines. I receiving assignments once or twice a year. I consider every assignment as a blessing since it gives me an opportunity to work and learn at the same time. 






Breathe. Respite. Life will be better. 

It was my mother's 4th death anniversary. Unlike the previous year, I didn't take a leave. There was no food and family gathering. I needed to work because I no longer have sufficient leave credits. I also need to catch up with class discussions. 

Days before her death anniversary, my phone brought back photos and memories of her time in the hospital. It’s been years, but everything still feels fresh. The fear remains. Hospitals still unsettle me. My brother’s past hospitalizations added layers to that fear. Each day, I pray for my family’s health, safety, and happiness. I constantly worry  for my dad, for my brother, and for our heaven sent caregiver, Ate Rita.

When my mind overworks, I overthink, overanalyze, and eventually, I’m left with painful thoughts and quiet tears.

This morning, I went to my mother’s resting place. I asked for help. I’m afraid. I’m worried. I’m restless.

I remember one quiet Sunday with my dad and brother, who looked so healthy. It remains one of the happiest moments after my mother’s passing. We managed to care for my brother without anyone’s help. That night, I slept with a grateful heart. My brother and dad were healthy. We had food. We had enough to sustain us. And for me, that was more than enough. I wish the days could always stay that way.

To achieve those days, I need to stand up for my family.  My current work assignment do not anymore pay well.  I took my chance to seek for additional work. My prayers were heard, I was accepted to another university in Manila. 



My place of peace 


I never thought to secure an opportunity to be here.

After each short work stint, I take a few quiet minutes to pause and pray,  release my worries and whisper my wishes. This place has become like a sanctuary. 

I'm still learning to trust the unknown, to breathe through the fear, and to believe that things will be okay.