The constant sight among shopping malls until the end of this year - The third to the last quarters of the year usually mark my much awaited slow down at work. All reports were submitted, I'm gradually preparing for another full swing of data gathering on the succeeding year. But this year, life made other plans. Everything is so much different. Like today, my colleagues already went home. They took advantage of the surprise suspension of work and classes, in celebration of the National Family Week. I decided to pursue working because the one-man-team in me has deadlines to survive. I'm praying that everything gets done before the end of this week.

I thought last weekend will be relaxing because my freelance assignments were all done. I overlooked revisions and just like the past weeks, I endured less than four hours of sleep. My family had a mini-reunion last Saturday and the spare time I had was devoted for a client meeting and useless shopping. I was feeling frustrated so off I went to shops I rarely visit. I'm happy with my finds, but my frustrations lives on. :( 

I really miss those days when the last months of the year felt comforting and relaxing. These days, I'm always anxious and restless.

I've been praying for improvements in my life for as long as I can remember. I think everything started in 2015. I have a plan and was religiously following everything. I may not have achieved what I wanted but I was persistent. Unfortunately, useless efforts disheartened my exhausted spirits. I stopped trying two years ago. I was ready to give up and accept everything when life intervened and made other plans. I was forcefully withdrawn from my comfort zone. 

Times like this, I always wish I'm in the company of my two sensible female friends, T and T. In the middle of last week, I met one of them. Last night, I had dinner with another T. When things get messed up, they never fail to either make me laugh and settle my doubts. They say when in doubt, don't. But there have been countless times when my friends tell me, just go for it. Typing this made me selfishly wish, I hope they are with me everyday.

Whenever the days feel tough and painful, I browse my old blog posts.  I need to know how I was doing in the past years.

One year ago - Dinner with colleagues turned friends ... I look way better in this photo. 

Two years ago - One of my favorite photos captured by my defunct Sony point and shoot camera. I no longer have outdoor shots because we don't anymore own this backyard. :(

Four years ago, I visited this historical place in Manila. I also met one of my favorite bloggers, Edel of Life in Manila. It was one of the rare times when I had the privilege to join the management for an important ceremony. This day also marked the success of my documentation project.  

The randomness of everything - Four years ago, my cousins fetched me to have afternoon snacks with Lolo. A confession to make, I haven't taken a bath when this photo was taken. Hahahahaha I just changed clothes and voila! ;) Another randomness, I'm wearing the same shirt today. :) 

If I will be asked what Christmas present I wish to receive this year, it's peace of mind. I may have other desires but really, all I wanted now is the thought that everything is fine and stable.